What do you mean, what do I do all day?

I've recently had a couple of conversations with friends who either do not stay home with their children, or do not have any children about what I "do" all day. I've also fielded some rude comments about how I don't do anything all day. I don't mind the innocent questions (especially from those who don't have kids- because those that do know that there is ALWAYS something to "do"), but the comments make me want to scream. Like really, they make my whole body shake with anger and it takes all I have to keep my mouth shut (in order to set a good example for my children, because that's part of the job). I never wanted to be a stay at home mom. I went to college, got a degree, and worked for a while before going BACK to college and getting ANOTHER degree. And then Liam was born. And I was lucky enough to work from home 4 days a week, and have him in daycare just one day a week. And that one day, he came home tired and cranky. The daycare workers told me "he napped well today. For 30 minutes". 30 minutes....are you SERIOUS! This kid takes 4 hours worth of naps in a day on a BAD day at home! I knew that he couldn't stay there, but at this point, Josh was a student, and we couldn't afford for me to quit my job. Thank goodness a fellow SAHM (Stay at home mom) friend of mine was willing to watch him. This was a much better arrangement, and when I would pick him up from her house on my office days, he was the well rested, smiling baby boy that I knew. She seemed to really enjoy him, and to put his needs right up there with her own kids, and for that, I will always be so thankful. She is a wonderful friend, and I would trust her to watch him again, if need be. It's a good thing she was a good friend too, because I went to her house, sobbing, when I got laid off and our family no longer had a "real" income. So that's how I became a SAHM. And now, I wouldn't trade it for the world. I am so thankful to have a husband who is comfortable living on one salary (it's not a huge salary, by any means, but it's more than enough to live on), and who thinks it's important for me to be at home with our sweet kids. I'm not one of those "If you don't stay at home, you're not a real mom" SAHMs. There are a lot of those out there, just as there are a lot of "If you don't work outside of the home, you're not a real woman, are lazy, and are setting a bad example for your daughter" type working moms. I take a more neutral stance: To each their own. Some women feel like they are more balanced when they work outside of the home and have something for themselves in the way of adult conversation. Others work because there is no way for them to get by financially on one salary. I stay home for a variety of reasons, some of which are: Financial: It costs a small fortune to keep two kids in full-time daycare, and the majority of my salary would be spend doing just that. Other: They're only kids once, so why miss it? I don't live close to family who would be able to watch them I want to be in charge of what they learn, what they watch on TV, what words they hear, and just how fast they grow up. Josh works crazy hours. Really crazy ones sometimes. I feel like if I were to work, the kids wouldn't see either of us very often. I know that there are women out there who can do it all. My mom did when I was little. She worked, went to school, kept the house clean, and still had lots of time left for me- she coached my softball team and took me to 4-H, and did all of those "Mom things", so please don't think I'm saying if you're not at home with your children, you're making the wrong choice. Staying at home is by far the toughest job I've EVER had. The hours are horrible (generally, if things go as they should, you work from about 6:30 a.m. until 8:30 p.m., and then you are on call for the remainder of that 24 hour span), the pay is worse, and there are times when I actually hide from my children because I feel like I'm about to go nuts (this doesn't happen often, and I make sure they are in a safe place before it does!). I am CONSTANTLY doing something, whether it's feeding, cleaning, paying bills, doing laundy, wiping noses, calming fears, enforcing time-outs, pulling two cranky children through the grocery store as quickly as I can in order to get them out of there before a meltdown occurs. It is physically and emotionally exhausting, but you can't sit down, because someone needs more juice, a butt wiped, or a bandage on a non-existant cut. And you can't have a meltdown, because you are in the process of teaching your toddler to control his, and that just wouldn't be setting a good example. It takes me 45 minutes to do a chore than would normally take 15, because I have one "helper" and another one that just needs to be held while I am doing it, but I can't do it without the helper becuase he's learning, and he enjoys helping so much. I know some people think we sit around in our pajamas all day, but if we do, it's because we can't find a moment to get into the shower or change our clothes. Some people think we stay home at watch TV all day (Oprah, anyone?). The only TV on at my house is Mickey Mouse, Super Why, and Special Agent Oso. But not all in one day, because that's just too much TV. Some people think we eat bon-bons on the couch. I don't eat on the couch, I either eat with my kids at the table, or, if we've had a particularly busy morning, I eat standing up in the kitchen while I clean up the mess leftover from the kids lunch. So this post has turned into a short novel. If you're still reading, it wasn't meant as a rant, or a "Man my life is hard, please pity me" post. I know that I choose this, and I see my lay-off at work as a blessing in disguise. It's meant more for those people who say SAHMs are lazy, or who just wonder what we do all day.